HEAVY METAL HAIR

My long hair usually responds to humidity by growing longer and curly, not unlike kudzu vine. I've lived in more humid places than Pittsburgh, it's true--Virginia; New York City; Austin, Texas; and Oregon--but my hair seems flat, considering that it's at least humid enough here for everyone to complain of it all summer.

Right after the report came out naming Pittsburgh the most liveable American city, another report came out naming Pittsburgh as one of the worst air-quality cities, still, even after all the working mills are gone, except one, and a modest one at that.

Am I vain? The first thing it made me think was, Maybe that's what's been weighing down my hair.